Daily stories 22/02/12

Completely forgot that time when I told the ginger-bearded art sales man that 'can you imagine if you were driving up a country lane, piece of straw hanging out your mouth with 60's music playing in the background with your little yappy dog called "Terrance". All of a sudden, the wheel spins 360 degrees to the right, Terrance yapping like there is no tomorrow. Your white van crashes in a ditch and all the art materials fly out everywhere. Luckily enough, you manage to pull yourself together and set off on the road again only to find your being pulled over by some crazed officer at the boarder between two British regions. On this grey blustery day she holds the art sales man at gunpoint and says "Open it up", meaning the back of the van. At her dreaded command, he does so and exclaims "look.... you see... these are only art materials". The woman shaking the gun into the back of the van with one eye widened bigger than the other appears relieved until suddenly the man grabs a pen-pencil and hisses "or shall i say... WEAPONS!!" before jabbing her in the neck with it and kicking her in the van with his steel-toe capped rubber boot which has a hole in the big-toe end! After this, his beard grew a further 2 inches as he drove off over the boarder, onto the next school to sell his so called 'art materials' kids.